Mood: Lucky 
Song: Jesse McCarthy - Beautiful Soul

       I know it's been awhile since I wrote, I actually wrote a whole entry a few weeks ago, but something happened and the blogdrive wouldnt let me post it. Gurrrrr....

       Currently, my entire back is sunburnt, and more than enough has happened in between the time I last wrote. Sorry folks, I'm trying to keep up here. So Cross your fingers and pray this one goes through... or the comp goes through the window...heh...
 
        Soooo... After getting down to Portland, OR. I hated it. Throughly hated it down there. Hated the enviroment, and didnt much like my family either. I had talked to Duke a few times since I got there, and nearly cried everytime. He encouraged me to let it out, but Im not much for crying to people I don't feel I know very well. I did however ask if I could come back to see him. He agreed, so after 40 hours of no sleep, I drove 3 hours to see him again.

       We Met up at the Sheri's we saw eachother before. I got out of the car expecting to go inside the sheri's, plus being so sleep deprived I wanted some coffee. He had other plans, they started something like, "So we're going to go back to my place-" And that raised eyebrows - wide eyes look I'm famous for waved over my face, lucky for him he quickly corrected himself and said "No!- I mean we're going to drop off my car and take yours!" ...mmmhmm... Good save there buddy.

      Now forgive me for the next few paragraphs, lack of sleep warped my memory, so it might be better that the Boyfriend come in later and explain a little more throughly. But this is what you get for now.

     I sat in the passenger seat of my own car, staring out the window at the passing lights (it was 2am). He talked to me, I opened up and told him anything he asked about. He kept looking at me, I looked away in hopes he'd keep his eyes on the road instead of me, but he's an intent listener, so that didn't happen the way I planned.

     We got to Alki Beach, and we got out together. I was wrapped up in a blanket and he pulled his hoodie over his head. It was then I told him I dont think I could ever be with a virgin, because I wouldnt feel like it was my prize to have. I'd feel way too guilty being with someone who waited for me, but I didn't wait for them. He listened, and nodded, and smiled. - He has a smile to melt for.

      Then he took me to another spot, where I told him about the stuffed animal wars my friends and I started. Originated by my best friend Jessie & I. He found that pretty funny, weird, but funny. I do remember a few times he called me beautiful. It'd take many meetings after that before I'd get used to him saying that.

      We drove around awhile longer, I asked why he wasnt seeing anybody and he told me because he was picky. Then and there I thought I was out of the picture. No matter how pretty a girl was, he wouldnt date her if there wasnt something he didnt like about her. I don't have a chance with this guy, not that I was looking for a boyfriend (infact I didnt want one for another 2 years) but the thought runs through everyone's head when they meet the opposite sex - Could they be the one? I asked him "So...you date to marry then?" Out of everything that happened that night, I remembered this part the best. He looked me dead in the eyes and said "Yes" with a nod. He was so serious. I want a guy like that!

     I don't remember what time it was that he took me back, but I do remember he liked to played with my hair. he caressed it, stroked it, it was the last time he touched me before I left again.

     I'm going to save this and head off to lay on my stomach and watch movies, maybe even take a nap before Duke gets off work.