.::.I am.::.
CiTy.20 yrs Old.Female.5'4.
.Spokane.WA.&.Des Moines.WA.
.Christian.Funny.In Love. .Happy.Friendly.Sweet.Girly
.::. .::.
.God.Duke.Family.USA. Friends.Church.Sunday.Cartoons. Humor.Magazines.Being German.Girly Things. Pink. Doghter.Seeker.Femi.Big Greg.. 
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Thursday, August 11, 2005
Mood: Totally In Love
Song:Sade - By Your Side


I remember his thumb pressing up under my jaw, bringing me to look into his eyes. I could see how honest he was when he called me beautiful, and by my expression he'd tilt his head and say "dont look at me that way... believe it". Long before he called me beautiful he knew I wasnt used to hearing it. When we got tired of standing we sat in his car and leaned against each other, at times he'd close his eyes.
When he did I couldnt help but think this might be the man I marry some day, the face I come home to, that comes home to me, the body that hugs me every day, the voice that tells me he loves me, the father of my children. It's the weirdest thing to think about when you first meet someone, you know them but theres so much more to know, and this might be it. God's tugging at your heart asking you to please notice him and not turn away, because he made a promise to provide us with partners that are strong...
Before I met Duke I thought theres no way I could deserve a man like him, but sitting there in the car looking at him I thought... I've become a Christian woman, because of my past why would the promise God makes to all not be a promise made for me? A promise he made long before I did bad things, long before I turned my life around, before I was born or thought of by anyone on earth. So looking at him I knew I deserve this, I am a woman of God, and I deserve a Man of God.
The next day was a drag, but the day after, Sunday, March 20th, the first day of Spring, I joined Duke at church, and later had lunch with his Mother, Step Father, and Him. His mother talked to us about becoming a couple, and how much we already acted like one. In the back of Duke's mind he had settled on the idea he wouldnt ask me to become his girlfriend until after I turned 21. Now here I am, 6 days away from turning 21 and we've been together for nearly 5 months. Before we parted on that Sunday I asked where we stood, he looked at me and said "Id be honored to call you my girlfriend". I could have jumped 10 feet in the air with that comment!

After that we were away for a few days, and in between that few days we talked about the timing of a first kiss. I had told him about this movie, "Hitch". It was hilarious but gave away some of women's secrets like how the guy should go 90% and the woman makes up the left over 10% when leaning in for the first kiss, and how 98% of women decide if they'll marry this guy based on the first kiss.
I did tell him though that the first "I love you" doesnt need a place or time, words like that make memories. So here's ours, I sat at work and told him this, at that very moment he blurted out "I love you" and suddenly I couldnt stand! I had to grab the chair and take a time out from closing the till to gather myself... He just bombed me! Wait... "I love you too!" I blurted back... because it was true!

Then he took a trip over to see me for his spring break, I let him meet a bunch of my friends and we all went out to go bowling, and enjoy eachother's company. I thought it was quite fun though he kicked our butts in it! Later that night we were alone, and I took him to the spot where I prayed and talked to God about the things I needed to change, he reached over and put the car in park, and asked to get out. The scenery was beautiful, over looking all the lights of spokane, its the perfect spot for the 4th of july to watch the display of fireworks.
When he leaned down I thought for sure my knees had buckled and I was leaning away, I felt so week I gripped his shirt and shoulders because I suddenly didnt think I could stand. But he planted one right on me, and I felt my heart skip a few beats, fireworks go off in my stomach, I swear my leg almost popped! It was wonderful! He reached out to move the hair behind my ear and I noticed his hand was shaking, so I grabbed it and asked if he was okay. While nodding he asked, "Am I the one?" I started laughing and nodded my head.
Yes... Yes he is the one. 
xoxo
Later Days!
- «City»
Posted at 09:33 pm by DorkiusMaximus
Permalink
Saturday, July 23, 2005
You're a Song Writen by the hands of God
Mood: Delighted
Song: N/A


I'm Such a slacker! And Lucky enough to have a boyfriend who's okay with that. Sooo At the request of his highness I'm writing more, he loves to read about our story in his spare time... And one of these days I'll get him to write an entry so he can tell the parts I've left out. 
I got back to Oregon and picked up my cousin, then began the long drive home to Spokane. As I was passing the area Duke worked and lived in I brought my foot back a bit to curl under the other on the gas pedal, and felt it hit something heavy. I reached under and pulled out a camera, then realized it was Duke's from the night before, he had left it in my car. So I gave him a call and agreed to drop it off for him. I knew he couldnt stay long, we were both so tired, and I had another 5 hours ahead of me.
Now believe me when I say I had only mentioned to my cousin once, at most maybe twice, that I liked Duke. And to a 15 year old "Like" Means "Want to marry". So He took it upon himself to walk outside and meet Duke before he could come into the Sheri's. I didn't find this part out until later, but after Michael had agreed not to say anything, he told Duke "My Cousin really likes you... And I wouldnt mind having you in the family either." This gave Duke the impression I REALLY liked him, and gave him the green light to presue me... hehehe awwww 
After that we talked on the phone every single night for the next month straight. I continued to tell myself I wont date until I was done with college, but I had told Duke I might begin dating sooner, and he suggested that I "Wait atleast a year." That...Was...Sneaky... But truely Duke at his cutest to preserve me for himself. I remember there came a point when he told me "You're the only girl i've ever trusted outside of my family." And it sent major tingles up my body, I realized he did like me more than a friend, and that our frienship was a great thing.
On Valentines Day he asked me to be his Valentine, even though we were 5 hours apart. I agreed though, too sweet of an offer to pass up. After going to dinner and a movie with my friend Jessie, I dropped her off, and remembered that Duke told me sometimes he likes to just take a drive, off to nowhere. So thats what I did. I ended up in a place I grew up in, a spot perfect to watch the fireworks on the 4th of July, overlooking the entire city of Spokane.

I prayed then, talking to God as if he were infront of me. I knew there were aspects of myself I still needed to change, exspecially if I were going into a relationship with such a wonderful man after God's heart. I told him I didnt think I was ready, and if I was going to do it I was doing it for Him, because HE knows im Ready. I cried, I smiled, I felt relieved as if I had a reason to change now, and no reason to go back to who I was. I liked that.
So a Month after we met the first time we met again, and I stayed at a friend's house, waiting for Duke to get off from work. When he pulled up in the car my heart was beating so fast, it was like the feeling you get when you're about to meet a big name celebrity. And When we hugged (For 3 hours) It felt so complete. I felt safe, and warm, and loved, and adored. He told me over and over how beautiful he thought I was, and how much he missed me and liked how I was there now.
I Felt GREAT! 
Again, I'll write more later... Thanks for Sticking around!
xoxo
Later Days!
- «City»
Posted at 11:27 pm by DorkiusMaximus
Permalink
Thursday, May 26, 2005
I want you and your beautiful soul
Mood: Lucky
Song: Jesse McCarthy - Beautiful Soul


I know it's been awhile since I wrote, I actually wrote a whole entry a few weeks ago, but something happened and the blogdrive wouldnt let me post it. Gurrrrr....
Currently, my entire back is sunburnt, and more than enough has happened in between the time I last wrote. Sorry folks, I'm trying to keep up here. So Cross your fingers and pray this one goes through... or the comp goes through the window...heh...
Soooo... After getting down to Portland, OR. I hated it. Throughly hated it down there. Hated the enviroment, and didnt much like my family either. I had talked to Duke a few times since I got there, and nearly cried everytime. He encouraged me to let it out, but Im not much for crying to people I don't feel I know very well. I did however ask if I could come back to see him. He agreed, so after 40 hours of no sleep, I drove 3 hours to see him again.
We Met up at the Sheri's we saw eachother before. I got out of the car expecting to go inside the sheri's, plus being so sleep deprived I wanted some coffee. He had other plans, they started something like, "So we're going to go back to my place-" And that raised eyebrows - wide eyes look I'm famous for waved over my face, lucky for him he quickly corrected himself and said "No!- I mean we're going to drop off my car and take yours!" ...mmmhmm... Good save there buddy.
Now forgive me for the next few paragraphs, lack of sleep warped my memory, so it might be better that the Boyfriend come in later and explain a little more throughly. But this is what you get for now.
I sat in the passenger seat of my own car, staring out the window at the passing lights (it was 2am). He talked to me, I opened up and told him anything he asked about. He kept looking at me, I looked away in hopes he'd keep his eyes on the road instead of me, but he's an intent listener, so that didn't happen the way I planned. 
We got to Alki Beach, and we got out together. I was wrapped up in a blanket and he pulled his hoodie over his head. It was then I told him I dont think I could ever be with a virgin, because I wouldnt feel like it was my prize to have. I'd feel way too guilty being with someone who waited for me, but I didn't wait for them. He listened, and nodded, and smiled. - He has a smile to melt for.
Then he took me to another spot, where I told him about the stuffed animal wars my friends and I started. Originated by my best friend Jessie & I. He found that pretty funny, weird, but funny. I do remember a few times he called me beautiful. It'd take many meetings after that before I'd get used to him saying that.
We drove around awhile longer, I asked why he wasnt seeing anybody and he told me because he was picky. Then and there I thought I was out of the picture. No matter how pretty a girl was, he wouldnt date her if there wasnt something he didnt like about her. I don't have a chance with this guy, not that I was looking for a boyfriend (infact I didnt want one for another 2 years) but the thought runs through everyone's head when they meet the opposite sex - Could they be the one? I asked him "So...you date to marry then?" Out of everything that happened that night, I remembered this part the best. He looked me dead in the eyes and said "Yes" with a nod. He was so serious. I want a guy like that!
I don't remember what time it was that he took me back, but I do remember he liked to played with my hair. he caressed it, stroked it, it was the last time he touched me before I left again.
I'm going to save this and head off to lay on my stomach and watch movies, maybe even take a nap before Duke gets off work.
xoxo
Later Days!
- «City»
Posted at 09:59 pm by DorkiusMaximus
Permalink
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Mood: In Love
Song: Ryan Cabrera- True


I recently got back from Des Moines, WA. My boyfriend and I celebrated a wonderful one month together. I know, I know. Not very long, but it's a huge deal to him and I. We've known eachother for a few months before we started dating, which is a pretty funny story. I thought I'd blog our life together, a long with a few other added things, just to keep a record.
We Met on a pretty good site, I never liked it though. I rarely checked the account, and I didn't care much about my "score", but I encourage people who are seeking friendships, even relationships, to go there. Hot Or Not The scoring part is okay, but you get to put in a small brief over yourself, and about 50 keywords... It helps weed out the people you'd much rather avoid... (too bad that doesnt work In Real Life )
So one fine day I checked the site, and checked people who had clicked to meet me. I saw this Guy Up Yander goofing off in his picture. His keywords didnt match mine for nuthin! Except one, "Christian". 'Good enough' I guessed and clicked okay back. Took awhile, but we got to talking and he was a really fun, nice, genuine, hilarious guy. But I didnt have an interest in him romance wise.
Then I brought him to another site (I wanted the referal points hehe) where he and I talked. He didnt participate much in the site, but I thought it'd be a good idea since he was in the seattle area, and the site was going to have a party over by there for Washington State. We had 1 phone conversation, he had mentioned he collects ticket stubs from the movies he's watched, I casually said "Yeah so do I." He got soooo excited, it kinda freaked me out But apparently that was enough for him to get an interest in me, atleast to meet me.
Then nearing February he IM'ed me on a bad day. I was so upset that my tax return was lower this year than last years, and I had a solid job through this last year, along with a second part time job. The year before I hadnt had a job for 2 months, and still made more! And I was really sad because I hadnt seen my mom In two years (she lives in Portland, OR.) and I was supposed to go down for my cousins birthday, I was taking him. Things just weren't working out .

I was really down, and pretty cruel while Duke was trying to cheer me up. Which later I felt horrible about and apologized. Eventually I got the good news I'd be able to make it! Well Then he asked me "Which route are you taking?" I told him "I-90 over to Seattle, then I-5 down," and heeeeee said, "You're stopping to see me, right?"
And thats all it took, on February 4th I headed out at 9:30 and met Duke after he got off work at 1:30 am in the morning. Now let's get one thing straight... I also didnt think he was the most attractive guy from his online pics. I was confident in meeting him because I had my male cousin with me. But I had figured Duke was about 5'7, with brown hair, I didnt know what colour eyes since he wore sunglasses in his pics. Even though he had told me before, I kind of spaced out everything he said... heh....heh.... hmm... ANYWAY.
So in walks this 6'4 tall blonde guy and my heart jumped into my throat! HAWT!!! Is my first thought and 'Why is he walking toward me?' Was my second... It was him! The guy I had come to meet! Why didnt he tell me he was so tall?! Oh wait... he did.... hahahaha... He handed me a Rose, and an Atlas because I told him I didnt have a map, I was just going to head that direction. (he listens carefully) Eventually we headed to Sheri's and talked some more. Er... Correction, he and my cousin talked, I fell asleep on his shoulder!
By the end, we had a big hug, and I was on my way down to Oregon. That's not the end of the story though! There's more later, but for now I'm off to take my ritual Sunday Bath. I grab the sunday paper, put on some music, run my bubbles, and relax until the boyfriend calls from break at work.
To all those reading, thanks for sticking with me!
Comments are welcomed and appreciated!
xoxo
Later Days!
- «City»
Posted at 07:39 pm by DorkiusMaximus
Permalink
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